Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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