just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
