he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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