be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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