I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
