Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
