i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
