A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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