Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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