Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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