Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
as a side note pls kill me
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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