he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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