Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
