Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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