Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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