does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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