Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
