Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
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