I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
