I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
