You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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