No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
