Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
