Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
