yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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