garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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