You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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