I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
