Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize