We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
