Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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