Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
