she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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