My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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