I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
