I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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