Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
