he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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