How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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