Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
