It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
