my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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