Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
