Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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