CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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