trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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