Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
