i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
