Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
So squirting runs in the family.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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