I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
