I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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