did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
