I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
