Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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