The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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