two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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