What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
accomplished twins. life is a go
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
