I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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