just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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