the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Jerry, you need to find god
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
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