Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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