hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I wish i was in the wii world.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
