he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
