He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
